New blog 

After writing here on newmommaontheblock for a little over a year, I have graduated to mommietidbits.com. I would be thrilled for all my amazing followers to continue on this amazing journey with me.

There are a few posts left on this site as for the rest of them, I will be creating a page to display them on my new blog! 

Please follow along! You all have been wonderful to me. 
As always, happy parenting! 

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A bunch of hellos and goodbyes

When you tackle the roll as a mother you aren’t just taking on sleepless nights and constant worrying, you are taking on an entire new identity. It is nearly impossible (unless, you can afford to pay a live-in nanny to raise your child) not to lose yourself in the mist of this new adventure. From your ever changing wardrobe to those new wider set hips. There is no turning back. Time to trade that glass of Pinot Noir for a bottle of milk.

You think it’ll get easier as your child becomes older; newborn stage officially ends okay, that wasn’t so bad then baby starts crawling and chewing on everything in sight, hello teeth. Teething ends. Baby is now attached and the rare moment she’s not, you’re wondering why she doesn’t want you. Being a parent only becomes more difficult with each new month you welcome.

The first time my daughter slept nearly the entire night without nursing, I bawled. Wait. I wanted this, I needed this. Sleep. The past nine-months I have been begging for just five minutes to close my eyes and now that she’s sleeping for almost six hours, I have no idea what to do. This is the tricky part about parenting. You want nothing but to see your baby grow and succeed at all things they tackle, but the moment they do, you find yourself waving goodbye to sweet memories you wish you would have cherished just a little bit more.

Ten months. Only two more months until my once two-pound daughter will be turning one. Damn. I have my moments when I reflect on the past and wish I would have done some things differently but I remind myself that we are where we are today because of the good and bad times. I have learned to function on literally no sleep and dress myself in the dark. My daughter has learned to breathe on her own and is about to master walking! We have both learned, together, that falling is okay as long as we get back up and try again.

 

Goodbye month nine. Hello month ten.

Two babies, two mommies and one daddy

Yep. You read that right- two mommies. No we are not sisterwives that offer to cook each other dinner and allow our man to bed hop. We are two very different Moms that live two very different lives.

Years ago daddy was in a relationship that didn’t work out, from that he gained a son. A smart, truck obsessed little boy with an imagination that can turn a Mickey Mouse waffle into a garbage truck. Since then daddy and I have welcomed a daughter into the world, a few months early. She likes attention. We are now a family of four.

Having a blended family isn’t easy and sometimes it’s complicated. The hardest part is trying to explain to our three year old why sissy gets to stay home and “play” in our Pooh Bear/ Monster truck themed nursery full-time and Bubba can’t. He loves having two homes and his grandparents house in between. But as he’s gotten older he has developed such a bond with his little sister that when its time for him to leave us he simple says, no.

His mother and I are completely different people with two very different ideas of parenting. I am a full time stay-at-home mom and I adore it. She works a full time job, her dream job and I’m sure adores it as well. We don’t have much of a relationship and that’s okay. I wish I could say we were like those co-parenting moms on Pinterest that write each other long letters thanking one another, for reasons I can’t understand. We don’t do lunch. We don’t call each other. We simply exchange a slight smile and an occasional hello during our meet ups to trade off, Bubba. That 7-11 has seen more forced smiles than a woman on a blind date with a man that looks like a monkey.

She’s a single mom and I sure that comes with its struggles. I am a mother to not just one but two children and somehow in the middle of it I still make time for daddy. She’s budgeting for two people and I am budgeting for four. My days of parenting consist of me caring for my children with the help of daddy, from the time they open their eyes in the morning until they close them again at night. Our toddler is accustomed to hot breakfast and cooked meals throughout the day at our home. He has a very well thought out routine we follow each day. Then he goes to his mommy’s house and it’s different. He doesn’t get to stay home all day or be woken up by the smell of Mickey Mouse waffles in the morning. He isn’t always on a routine. Life isn’t the same.

I have respect for her as a mother, she works hard and I can’t discount that. Just because her life is different and her idea of parenting is different, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I’m not a better mom because I make waffles every morning or that I’m home full time. Our lives are different, but equally valuable. And equally difficult.

The idea of having a close relationship with her is far fetched. We don’t need to be friends and talk often to respect each other and to understand we are both doing the best we can, in a situation neither of us thought we would end up in. So many people get lost in the dramatics of it all. They feed off nitpicking each other’s lives instead of simply focusing on their own. I accept she will always be apart of Bubba’s life and I will always encourage his relationship with her. But I don’t see a need to force a relationship with a woman I have nothing in common with, besides the fact that our children have the same father.

In our son’s eyes our family consists of two babies, two mommies and one daddy. To him this is normal. This is all he knows and all he will ever know. He’s happy. So I’m happy.

Dreading bedtime

The term ‘bedtime’ is becoming a dreaded one in our home lately. As our toddler only gets older and is growing rather quickly into a big kid, he now knows all the right things to say or do to extend his bed time.

He just came home from a vacation that lasted a little over two-weeks with his mother. The first factor that has altered his sleeping pattern; early morning and late night plane trips, meeting new people, sleeping in a place that isn’t home- where he doesn’t have a room of his own or his bed that perfectly fits his tiny, yet big self. Factor two is simply his age. As he gets older he understands more but still doesn’t quite grasp the importance of sleep- something he won’t learn until he’s 25 with children and is in desperate need of just a five minute nap.

When he first arrived home he was overjoyed to see his room was still there as was Daddy, myself and of course sissy. He came home rather late, so we had to save most of our catching up for the next morning. We played and laughed, brushed our teeth and put on our pajamas. He knew bed time was approaching as I mentioned it was time to pick out a few books to read; he slightly fussed but quickly overcame his tiredness, marched up to our reading wall and grabbed his favorite books, Cars and Elmo. As a family we curled up in his tiny, big boy bed and read his books, each one twice. We all gave hugs, kisses and wished sweet dreams. Nightlight is on, he is ready for bed. Wait, not so fast.

Just as we were about to turn his door he reminds me I forgot our favorite nighttime routine, singing. Our favorite song to sing together (mostly me singing and him “correcting” the words) is Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas. I offered one last drink of water and a potty break. He declined the potty break surprise, surprise. He was finally ready for bed, but “I need just a little bit more of a drink” he whispers. Okay, I’ll be right back. 

He had thought of everything possible to stay awake, all he wanted was to play fireman with Daddy and rescue his sissy from a burning couch’. We couldn’t fault him for wanted to spend time with his family, he hadn’t seen us in his words “a very long time”. No matter how much we wanted to play and laugh the night away, he needed sleep much more than we needed to have a family night.

Routine is what’s best for him and any child his age. Dinner followed by his bath are at the same time each night. We give him about 30 minutes to play and unwind then we read books as a family, sing our songs, take a potty break and off he goes. Some nights he doesn’t want to follow the routine and others he’s leading us through the whole thing. But no matter what his mood, bedtime always goes the same way at our home.

It is important for children to know what’s coming next, they need to have boundaries and routines because without them, they end up lost and frustrated. I read a book recently about behavior issues in young children, and it said pretty much that; if you don’t set boundaries or simple routines for your child, they will just be left wondering what he/ she is expected to do, which most likely results in bad behavior habits. At a young age big decisions such as picking their own bedtime or their daily diet  shouldn’t be left up to them. Their brains are just not matured enough to handle such a responsibility.

Will all that being said, each child is different, you should address boundaries and routines every few months, for each child in your home. You cannot expect an eight month old and a three year old to follow the same routines. Continuous communication not only between mommy and daddy, but between parent and child will help make clear what your child’s needs are during a particular time in his/her life. Remember to listen as much as you can to your child and pay close attention to their attitude throughout the day. Actions always speak louder than words.

If your child is fussy all day from the time he woke up, maybe he should go to bed a littler earlier or take an extra nap as he might be tired. Maybe your child is off the walls and misbehaving, consider his diet- did he have a lot of sugary juice today? Did he have enough nutrient filled foods? I suggest watering down all juice and offering fruit that is high in sugar only once a day. Your child will express what he or she needs, your just have to listen and watch carefully.